Here’s the thing about my story- it’s not finished. And thank goodness for that, right?
I was talking to a friend about writing the other day and she commented on something that I had written here. I said that no one ventures out onto the internet to hear people complain. She countered that people do, however, come to hear about people’s struggles and how they navigated them. Right away I understood what she meant. When I’m struggling, when many of us are, we ask (or read about) others who have been in a similar situation how they navigated it. It’s not that people are complaining, it’s that they are informing.
That realization felt to me like the opening of a door, welcoming me to chronicle my story here (the fact that I was welcome to do that all along being another post entirely). That welcome was really from me, to me. Writing feels vulnerable to me. This space, even in its infancy, has felt somehow unsuccessful to me. But what is success? Sometimes my definition of success can only happen once something is completed. What I’m writing about here is my life, by definition incomplete. This particular chapter of my story, in which I find my way (fingers crossed) is also incomplete. If success hinges on completeness, I’m never going to get there.
Which really got me thinking. I love, love, love Elizabeth Gilbert’s signature work Eat, Pray, Love. I love that she saves herself, she falls in love, and she moves on to a better place in her life. The story feels resolved. But here’s the thing- her story wasn’t finished when she was writing it. During that year of travel and self-discovery, she was writing all along, without knowing how it was going to turn out. Leap, they say, and the net will appear.
In some way that is what I’m trying to do. Trying to take a leap. Writing about this leap- not knowing where it’s heading- is scary for me. But it feels right to write about it. To document my journey and what is going on in my life. How I’m getting there. Wherever there is.
Don’t get me wrong- I’m no Liz Gilbert. But I’m starting out, and I have goals of my own. It only took her several decades of diligent writing to become an overnight success story. Who knows, maybe I’m on the same path?
All I know is it’s not a done deal yet.